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The reactions became more unpredictable. I was able to not hold a facial expression of my locating. I was so tight inside, in my muscles, my arteries, my brain, if you have a contorted grimace soon took over as my default presentation around the world. I couldn’t sit reducing. I couldn’t hold yet. I couldn’t bear the physical sensation of any environment. Everything was either too big or too loud or too cramped or too overwhelmingly tied up. I could not land on anything long enough to focus on it and grow to be involved using it.
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